As far back as my earliest memories, I've held a deep fascination with understanding myself. My childhood was challenging, like many childhoods are. I grew up in a family with deeply entrenched traditional beliefs, particularly when it came to the roles of women. Pursuing my personal aspirations was often secondary to the expectation of becoming the matriarch of a family — a good wife, and mother.

But, I wasn't certain if that was what I truly wanted. My desires diverged from the path my family envisioned for me, and they couldn't provide the support I needed.

I was headstrong, and my parent’s found that to be an affront to their vision for me.

My parents would move every two or three years. My dad worked for IBM, and we were a corporate family, uprooted continuously. We lived in many places from Germany, to the states to Tokyo, where I graduated high school.

Living in so many places intuitively taught me much about the world, and instilled in me a real sense of moral relativism; that is, where you don't ascribe morals to behaviors — because what's moral in the United States is really different than what's moral in Tokyo, for example. This was a huge turning point in how I viewed my world and later on, my practice….

My Calling to Psychology

Childhood dreaming

From a young age, as early as my pre-teen years, I had a strong desire to become a psychologist. Maybe that’s odd for a child to dream up, but for me, it was always present.

However, my mother's response was disheartening. She told me early on, "Only crazy people become psychologists; it's not something you want to do." It took me a long time to realize that from my family's perspective, they were trying to protect me. They wanted to guide me into a world they understood, not necessarily the one I wanted to inhabit or that aligned with my true self.

One significant lesson I learned from my family was that they valued my achievements more than who I was as a person. This led to a particular attachment style, common among those who are praised for their accomplishments rather than their authentic selves. I developed a sensitivity to rejection, feeling as though I might be rejected for simply being myself. But more on that later.

Despite these challenges, I did end up pursuing my dream. I defied my family's expectations, embarked on extensive ivy league training and eventually became a psychologist.

But the path to get there had many twists and turns.